Black or White

Picture Credit- http://amitsphotography.blogspot.com

Imagine: Sitting before the doctor, your fingers crossed, desperately hoping he wouldn’t confirm what you fear the most. And yet he uttered the very words you were scared of: That you suffered from the black and white disorder. Ever heard of it? It is a fairly uncommon disorder of the brain, which makes life easier for the patient but a lot more difficult for those around him. It attacks the brain cells and the incubation period can be anywhere between a few days to years. Often it results in a complete loss of social life with most (if not all) relatives and friends turning their backs to you. Life becomes an empty swing...with no joyous faces with wide grins...

I remember the time when the world was still free of this disease. Everyday used to be a struggle, a struggle to please everyone around us. We were friends with people we hardly cared for, used to compliment people on things we hated the most. If need be we could give our sweetest smile to our dearest enemies. All in all, it was a phase of our life when we wanted to be on good terms with everyone, those who mattered as well as those who didn’t. Well, all that has changed now.

The unique disorder we suffer from has transformed us into more direct, practical and rather blunt individuals. If we don’t like someone’s dress, we will tell them so in as many words. If we do not like something about a particular person, we will inform them at the earliest opportunity. If we do not think you trustworthy enough, we wouldn’t entrust you with any sort of information or responsibilities. Do not take us to be rude, proud and conceited individuals because we are none of that. We are just people who label everything as either right or wrong, black or white. I know sometimes we are too harsh on those around us, even ourselves, but then we are not in love with grey anymore. Confusions don’t find a place in our life. Trust me it saves a lot of our time, effort and energy.

Our forefathers have always emphasized on the need to take quick decisions. Well, you can’t do that if you are confused…right? All in all, this disease has made our life rather simple. We are no longer burdened by the evils of proper social conduct. Again, that does not mean we are social misfits. Just that we are not a two-faced individual anymore. And it doesn’t take a genious to guess what I am hinting at if I say that this is a fairly ‘uncommon’ disease.

Try it out for yourselves, this little taste of black and white. I’m sure you’ll be hooked on to it. And this world of ours will probably be a way better place if we have a black and white epidemic. At least we wouldn’t have to waste our time worrying about what goes on behind our backs…

I’ll make sure to tell you more about the pros and cons of this unique syndrome in a later post. I would also like to hear your take on it before I do that…

Go on…spread the black and white syndrome…

Eve Teasing

Imagine this: You take a bus to your college and the uncle standing next to you presses against you every time the driver breaks. Whats more, he seems to be getting aroused every time he does it. You try moving away but are groped by at least five pairs of hands in this attempt. Another set of pinches is just common place. Somehow you manage to get off the bus, feeling filthy, and take an autorickshaw instead. You stop at a red light and find young men staring at you. As if they have X-Ray vision installed in their eyes. The more daring ones may even smile and pass lewd comments. Not to forget the auto-walla, who steals furtive glances at you under the pretext of adjusting the mirror. If you survive this and reach your destination, more likely than not, you'll be stopped in your tracks by a speeding car or bike. Those inside would probably burst out laughing, seeing your reaction.

Sounds familiar? It sure does. I'm sure every girl who has ever travelled alone in Delhi can relate to it. Trust me, I am not exaggerating when I use the words 'Every girl'. Very broadly such acts can be classified as Eve Teasing in the huge variety of Crimes Against Women. Yes, such behaviour is a crime and can lead to heavy fines and even imprisonment. Fundamentally, the very term used here is wrong. Eve in Eve Teasing refers to the first woman, biblical, Eve(Wikipedia added that to my knowledge). Therefore, eve teasing literally portrays the woman as a tease. Thereby transferring the blame for such incidents on women themselves. We forget that no woman, with even a dime of self esteem, would want such kind of attention from their male counterparts.

So what is it that makes Indian men (It is a country specific disease. If you google 'eve teasing' most of the results are Indian webpages) behave in this way? Perhaps because we have always been a male dominated society...where men think they can treat women in whatever way they want. Perhaps because it is very difficult to prove the crime in most cases. Perhaps because the perpetrators always have some excuse of proving themselves innocent. Perhaps because of the social shame associated with it. It is not unknown that most of the offenders go scott-free and do things of their own free will.

Another major contributor are the movies. Since times gone by, flirtatious behaviour has been portrayed as essential to the beginning of a courtship. The hero generally stalks his leading lady till she obediently submits to his demands. This is often followed by our world famous song and dance sequences. Do such movies not promote eve-teasing? They glorify it and give it a kind of social acceptability and legitimacy. What the movie-makers don't realize is that the public in general is rather creative. In their race to emulate their favourite heroes, young men ruin (even end) lives. If their dream girl doesn't react in the way heroines do, they stalk them, throw acid on them, rape them...

And I am still talking about the nation's capital. Only God knows what goes on in other, smaller towns. 

Talk about eve-teasing and some loud-mouth will definitely come up with crap like 'girls bring it upon themselves'...'provocative dressing'...'Indian culture'...

Why do they talk about gender equality then? Why are women given the same rights as men? Why not just shut them up in some dark hole of a home and abuse them in whatever way men like? Why the whole drama about women keeping pace with men? If a society cannot even respect its women, cannot even give them the freedom to roam empty streets without fear of being pulled into a car, cannot even ensure their safety...then why does it claim to be a progressive, open-minded, cultured, educated group of people?

Even savages don't do things like we do. 

It won't help much if some of us go mad, yapping on our blogs about this injustice. But those of you who are reading this can at least help. Do your own little bit. Next time you see some such thing happening, don't just turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to it. I am not asking you to go all out and get into a full blown fight. Nobody expects that. But do help out the girl in whatever way you can. Make that pair of hands groping her, four...if not less...

This Too Shall Pass...

Looking back, years gone by

We find a life complicated

Albeit in simple ways

We get joy as well as pain...

If there are flowers

There are thorns

If there is love

There is ache...

Yet some sank, while others drowned

In the ocean of tears they shed

A handful stayed afloat

Riding the wave of grief and pain...

The will to live; strong against the wind

Their hopes never crashing

Like you and me, they are flesh and bones

Born our equal, set apart

What makes them who they are?

The widow left alone

Destined a hard life

With kids and family to fend

Fighting the cruel world...

The lonely child left behind

By friends and family alike

Who grows up before his years

A burden upon tiny shoulders...

The mother of a soldier

Who gave up her son

Didn't let a pearl drop trickle

Down that aged face...

What do they have in common?

Those cursed by fate...

It is the belief, come what may

This too shall pass

This too shall pass...

It is not just them

Who wage a daily war

Look at yourself, your life

You'll find it complicated in simple ways...

Our grief may not be as great

The pain not that numbing

But it does shake us up

Throw us down...

So Strengthen that core, force a smile

Just remember the words I said

This too shall pass

This too shall pass...

The End of Love

The End of Love...

I could be referring to numerous relationships here...that of a child with his parents, that of a brother and sister, that between life partners (girlfriends and boyfriends is more relevant here)..

It is the last one I have been thinking about lately

Have you ever seen those lovey-dovey couples, holding hands, sitting in parks? I'm sure most of you have...What plagues me is that what happens when these people marry each other...or reach a stage in their relationship where they don't need to call each other every hour in order to feel loved?

Where does the magic go? 

• Earlier they used to be the world to each other and look at them now. Each moment alone, without their significant other, seems like a blessing in disguise. They used to be running after their companion but now? Seems more like they are in a race...who runs faster..away from the other...
• The very boyfriends, who used to find their girl's nagging cute, call it irritating, stupid, irrational. Over-possessiveness is another favourite term. Her little tantrums transform her into a drama queen.
• Initially they couldn't let her go...well, times have changed. They can't wait to let her go...

And these are just a few scenarios...What brings on these changes? After 8 days of brainstorming, I still have no answer.

It seems superbly abnormal. Is it because we always find the chase more exciting? Or because the relationship loses its shine once it becomes a habit? Why doesn't it happen with other habits, good or bad, then?

Just think about it. If someone tells you that falling for you was stupidity...well, who is the stupid one then? Definitely not you...

If all they wanted was a person very different from you, why did they like you in the first place? You obviously didn't subject them to third degree to make them accept you.

For those married to their work, you didn't really need another person in your life. Your files, meetings, phone calls would suffice.

If any of you reading this know why this happens, then please enlighten me as well. I would be rather obliged if you put my mind at ease. Help make us a little wiser so that a few fortunate ones can be saved from this terrible disease...

Coming to Life

As rain falls down from up above

Each drop on a joy ride

I cannot help but smile

With unexpected, unexplained elation...

With my hand outstretched

I feel the merry mercy drops

Splashing wet against my cold skin

Rising to meet the twinkle in my eyes...

It makes me think of the good old days

When the world was a free place

Where there was no bondage, no labour

Only a perennial river of pleasure...

It is tugging at my heart

That world full of laughter

I want to go back, relive it

For just one more time...

Pushing aside the barriers

Caring not what the world thinks

I step out into the downpour, breaking free

Free from the amazingly ordinary

Free to be the one I truly am...

These tears you see are not of pain

It is a joy so intense

It is running through my veins

I am coming to life...

My hearts skips several beats

The burden of all these years falls off

Just as rain falls down from up above

Each drop on a joy ride...